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Inspirational Stories

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Inspirational Stories

by Monica Voges

The death of a child is the most profound of all sorrows. The grief that comes with such a loss is intense, affecting our emotions, our bodies and our lives. The loss of a child or a loved one throws every aspect of our lives out of balance. I’m a 45 year old woman from Alberton who has perhaps experienced one of the most traumatic events one could in life - the murder of my two year old son. Along with this trauma years later I also experienced the loss of many other things in my life, including the loss of the very same bosoms that nurtured my late baby boy, to breast cancer in 2011.

I have learnt to face the reality and the pain of my losses, to say goodbye to the ones I loved and make peace with it, to restore myself and to invest in life once again. In a sense, mourning these losses has been a time of finding new mastery over myself and my life. The essential process of the periods of morning throughout my life has been my courage. Even though at times I thought it may seem impossible, I realised I can conquer grief, heal and even grown from my experiences. It takes courage to feel my pain and face the unfamiliar. It also takes courage to grieve in a society that mistakenly values restraint, where I risk the rejection of others by being open or different. I have journied into that pain and sorrow and anger in order to heal and recover. I have learnt that courage makes my path more challenging, exciting and rewarding!

COURAGE helped me to have more FAITH and less FEAR

Consider this, it has taken almost 20 years for me to be able to speak and write about this subject without falling to pieces and that is coming from a woman that does not fear death. It has taken years of healing for me to realise that in all my feminine essence, that I have the power to make a significant change and difference in my life and those of others. We are all born with the power to transform our lives when we find oursleves lost, unhappy, unworthy or inadequate. We have been given the most amazing gift of all - CHOICE! The choice to spin everything in our lives into something positive and something to empower and inspire those who are in desperate need for encouragement and support.

How do you deal with your emotions through your challenges and hardships in your life? Do you ever remind yourself that you have a choice? The emotions that we experience serve a PURPOSE because the purpose is to experience our feelings more fully. Many of us are unaware of the realisation of the full impact of our traumas and hardships for example physical and emotional trauma, the loss of a loved one and medical diagnosis, and that it is feelings we HAVE to experience. I personally believe we have to experience these intense feelings in order to find out what we feel we lack, so that we can experience fulfillment because experiencing and acknowledging those intense and sometimes terrifying feelings, helps us to balance them and take the often negative charge out of them. I’ve come to realise that the purpose of emotions is for us to experience them in their fullness in that moment and then to let them go through nurturing ourselves. This fuller process of acknowledging and experiencing causes us to feel empowered by the experience because the feelings no longer sit inside us because we have done just that - acknowledged and experienced them. We have to experience the perceived bad in order to understand the feelings of balance and fulfillment. We have to therefore adapt an attitude saying that from here on we need to have more faith and less fear about what has happened to us.

I cannot bring back my child or change my diagnosis, but I can take responsibility and change my perception. One of the key elements to my journey has been to learn to forgive. Forgiving does not mean forgetting about what happened to me, but rather to forget the memory of what happened to me. I’ve discovered that learning to forgive is a perfect gift for myself. Prayer and meditation has brought about a sense of inner peace and acceptance for me. Relaxation techniques reduces my pain and anxiety and my peaceful thoughts provoke relaxation.
What are the seven vital steps I’ve taken in my life to help me deal with my difficult journey?

They speak for themself:
My faith • Laughter/Humour • Being kind to myself • Having a passion • Keeping a positive attitude • Believing in myself • Forgiveness

I'm ready to stop surviving and start thriving!

Please contact Monica Voges directly on 073-034-4877 or (011) 864-3780 for more information about her story.
You can order her book called “I am a Goddess Monica” if you visit

Born to Shine Magazine